I wished I could back out of visiting the doctor- I had already dodged it for so long! But, that day, my luck seemed to have run out!!
Cursing the stupid viral germs under my breath, I stepped into Dr Pankaj’s clinic.
And immediately I started choking on tears! The familiar waft of ethyl alcohol all around, in which the homeopathic medicines are dissolved, brought back all the childhood memories of my recently-dead father- a doctor himself; and a damn good one too..
The sight of all those shelves lined up with (very, very) dark brown glass bot
tles containing the medicines- -it was a really horrible torture, to endure that! I felt profound sense of loss, the shelves and promotional charts from pharmaceutical companies a reminder of what all I could never have again- my father, and the stability he brought to the dynamics of our home!!
One look- a passing glance- at the doctor was enough to drive me dangerously close to the edge of breaking down in sobs- something that I had managed to avoid even moments after learning that my father was dead! The reason was so stupid, and
yet it hurt so much!! Dr Pankaj seemed to have so many physical features similar to my father- the same rotund body, with a pot-belly sticking out, flabby double-triple chins, same angle of staring into the paper while writing the prescription!
I turned around to leave- I won’t let that motherfucking bastard, that asshole shit of a God make any more mockery of me, of my endless string of losses and suff
“Manu! Where are you going?” Shiv Mama was in front of me, checking the doors of his car before stepping in. At the same moment, my head spurned- with the characteristic bout of weakness that accompanies viral fever!
I knew I had no other choice but to stay. I shook my head glumly, and turned back once again!!